Apple iMove Car (Driving Miss Lazy) | Headphones and Speakers Blog
By: Mike Doria
Let me say right from the get-go that I was sold at “self-driving!” Take my pre-existing zero patience and couple it with always being surrounded by idiot drivers; and who wouldn’t want to handpick an Apple iCar from a dealership lot in the near future? As news of Apple’s not so secret venture into the futuristic four-wheels industry broke earlier this week, several questions regarding the iMove or “iCar” began racing through my head. Here is the partial list floating around in my mind:
1.) Should the iCar be speeding while it is self-driving one day; will police be able to pull it over? If so, would the car be getting the ticket?
2.) Is there an App or some other functionality that will allow the iCar to give another self-driving car (or even a traditional car and driver) the finger?
3.) Does the advent of the self-driving car imply that “Siri” will be waiting in the never-ending line at the DMV? And, will she even be able to get the car to the DMV given her confusion with almost anything asked of her (ie. directions)?
The list of questions is endless. Also, www.pcmag.com is reporting the iCar will be electric. Like we need one more cable, cord, USB or Apple adapter in our lives — especially when we’re still outraged by the lack of outlets (especially when you need one) to charge our iPhones (get a portable charger — it works!) 
1.) Garage Grief: If you are driving through a parking garage anywhere — but specifically in Las Vegas — just plan on parking on the very top level. Why? Because this will trick your mind into actually driving above two miles per hour. And, in doing so, you won’t be aggravating every driver behind you who who would rather go up a few levels where there’s bound to be more open spaces.
2.) Please Pull Over: Picture it — you’re driving in light traffic. The radio or iPod is playing your favorite song. You’re smiling or singing along with then song and then – WTF??!! The person driving ahead of you decides it will be best to slow down to an obscene five miles per hour and even come to a complete stop in the middle of the road. It appears the driver can’t seem to locate the destination to which he or she was headed. Uh, you do realize that you can’t just stop in the middle of the road like that? And, uh – you do realize there are other people driving on the road with you — right? Next time — pull off the road when you’re confused or lost. You should maybe also invest in GPS
3.) Rearview Amusements: For the love of God — can somebody please bring back the fuzzy dice you used to see dangling from the rearview mirror circa 1982? I mean — I live in Las Vegas. Enough said. Ps – the hula girl wearing the grass skirt and playing the ukulele is also still perfectly acceptable as a dashboard ornament.
4.) Exit Strategy: Just as I suspected! The highway exit that driver needed is still in fact in its same location. For a minute there, one might’ve figured it had moved. Why else would the driver who needed to use it suddenly swerve across four lanes of traffic and create a lot of close calls in the hope that he will make it in time? I’m aware of the various styles and schools of thought when it comes to driving. However, it still just seems to make solid sense to be in the appropriate highway lane when you’re nearing the exit you need. Did you forget where you were going?
5.) Bleeps & Beeps: FYI – I would just assume that you would be slightly annoyed or peeved if I’ve just cut you off (or made another roadway oops while driving) but cussing and yelling at me while your window is still rolled up is useless. I can’t hear you. Duh! And trying to read lips would be like trying to text and drive. Plus — do you know how ridiculous you look when you’re mad? Laying on the horn for what seems like 5 minutes is also unnecessary. Stop abusing it. Guess what? It’s very likely that he following week you’ll probably make a “roadway oops” and likely get annoyed the other driver got so irate. You see how we’re all still human — even you?
